GOLOVA
A shrine to the boys. Built on friendship, powered by whey, certified CS2 casual diff. If you know, you know.
01THE COLLAGE
Shawarma runs, park hangs, gym sessions and general shenanigans. The archive of the golova crew.
02GOLOVILIA
The family. Familia → Golovilia. Blood, chosen, and everyone at the table. Tap anywhere here to play the Golovilia anthem. 🎶
03THINGS WE LOVE
The official golova value system. Non-negotiable.
Trushkovskiy Bashing
A competitive sport. We are undefeated.
CS2 Casual
Casual diff. Rank is a state of mind.
Bashing
General purpose. All-terrain. No mercy.
Workouts
We do not skip. Ever. Dr Mike is watching.
Love
The whole point, honestly.
Family
Blood, chosen, and everyone at the table.
Jesus
The real GOAT. First place, always.
Dr Mike Israetel
Renaissance Periodization enjoyer. Junk volume? Never.
Chicken Tikka Masala
With homemade naan. The post-workout GOAT meal. Non-negotiable.
The Esophagus
Our favourite muscular tube. We WILL talk about it. At length. Peristalsis enjoyers.
04ANECDOTE OF THE DAY
Fresh from the golova archives. Translated, unfiltered, allegedly true.
A guy is walking along and sees a pile of cash just lying there. Next to it, a little sign: “Touch the money and the Georgians will fuck you in the ass.” He figures — eh, maybe I'll get away with it — and grabs the cash.
Suddenly he hears stomping behind him. He turns around: a whole crowd of Georgians charging straight at him. He bolts. He spots an open manhole and dives in — and down there sits a Georgian, who looks him up and down and asks: “What are you doing down here?”
The guy, panting: “Up there — they're fucking people!”
“No, dear… down HERE is where we fuck them. Up THERE they're just rounding them up!!!”
05THE STORE
Fuel and fits. Affiliate links keep the shawarma fund alive — no extra cost to you.
Supplies
AFFILIATE · FUELWHEY
4LB
Popeyes Basic Whey — 4LB
The house protein. Post-bash, post-lift, post-everything. Frenzy tier.
GET FUELED →STACK
REMOVER
Kitchen Grease Remover
For after the shawarma summit. Degreases everything the boys destroyed. Certified spotless.
SHOP ON AMAZON →Merch
LIVE · PRINT-ON-DEMAND
06THE ANTHEM
Turn it up. This is the sound of golova. Hit play, or tap the button bottom-right.
Golova Anthem
Our official background track. Loops forever, just like the friendship.
▶ PLAY THE ANTHEMThe Playlist
Every certified golova banger in one place. Gym-tested, road-trip approved.
🎧 OPEN ON SPOTIFY